When Life Gives You Lemons, Ask Questions

The first thing I must do today is call BS on the left. Yes, the left that I have belonged to for many years. Senator Mitch McConnell recently made a crack about Former Secretary of State Hilary Clinton's looks, saying she reminded him of a character in that 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls, in which four elderly women lived together in a house and wise-cracked a lot. The left went crazy that he would make a comment about a woman's, especially such an esteemed woman's appearance. Personally, I have always thought Hilary was kind of cute, and definitely more attractive as a blonde than a brunette. But she was also the hardest working and most traveled secretary of state in history. Just as the job does our presidents, it aged her. In the month or so since leaving office, she has appeared tired. But all that aside, I have done, and I have heard many, many liberals make fun of Mitch McConnell's looks. So my question here is, just how stupid are we on the left? Our feelings get hurt when what we have done is done to us? Here is an idea: what if we all stopped picking on each other on such a shallow basis? It's not as if Mitch McConnell hasn't done plenty for us to criticize on a much deeper level. Can we approach this as adults and not third graders on the playground?

While we are on the subject of political discourse, I would like to ask if we can all get off  the picking on people, in particular former president George Bush for saying the word "nu-clear" as "nook-yoo-lur." Not that it doesn't make my skin crawl when I hear it, but I've heard dozens of very smart people pronounce it the same way he does. And there are several words that I hear pronounced as oddly, by just as many people, that no one ever jumps on. For example, the word huge. I hear more and more people pronounce it "yooj," in politics, in the media, and in person (my husband being one.) Can't we all just get along? Every region has its unusual way of speaking...why can't we consider it all a part of regional charm? And when it isn't just regional, since many of the people who say nookyoolur are from different parts of the country, can't we just consider it part of their personal charm?

On a lighter note, I saw a woman on TV this week who had a really cute hair cut. And her hair had one of those zigzag parts. It made me wonder who was the first person who thought it was cool to have a crooked part? Was it someone who was rebelling against a mother (a type with whom I'm familiar) who wouldn't let her leave the house without a ruler-straight part?

I've recently heard commercials from some of the big-box, super chain stores telling us all about their commitments to the environment. I wonder how many of us know just how hypocritical this advertising scheme is? Are we going to fall for it? I wanted to, but then I've been to two of those stores with my reusable shopping bags, in which they put things in plastic bags. I have at least twice commented to cashiers about it, and one of them stopped, commenting that many customers wish to have their meats in plastic within their reusable bags. So, much like the litigiousness of our culture bringing us animal testing of cosmetics, some of our fear of germs have led to more plastic in our landfills that will never, ever go away. Another thing that has happened to me several times at one of those big box stores which advertises its environmental commitment is putting only one item per plastic bag. Can we call BS on them too when their advertising is such a lie?

I know the US Postal Service is having lots of economic problems, and they are making commercials trying to drum up business. But I caught a discrepancy in the wording of the commercial about how your mailman will drop off boxes that you can fill and let him know you are ready to have him come and pick up. Please understand, I'm a words person, and I notice such things, and when they say, "You can weigh, PAY, and print your labels online, and the mailman will pick them up. He says, "I'll even drop off boxes for free." Here's my problem: didn't they just say you can pay online? So he's not dropping off those boxes for free, everything about that service is paid for. It is a good value, admittedly, and I'm all for saving the postal service. But the commercial doesn't add up for me.

Many of you who have read me before, or know me, know that my minor was biology and environmental studies. So I know that the lower an animal is on the food chain, the more they reproduce. Krill, for example, is the largest biomass on the planet. It has to be, since krill provides food for many of the larger sea creatures, including some of the largest animals that have ever existed. Rabbits are among those prey animals that reproduce much because they are a food source for many larger carnivores. Including dogs. I have had a few experiences with my dogs becoming bunny killers, including Abigail (my copilot on Zeus' Chariot), who entered that esteemed canine club last Saturday.

We went out for her final evening constitutional last Saturday, and she went directly under a bush at the bottom of our apartment stairs. A bunny ran immediately away, but Abigail went to ground, true to her terrier nature, and I heard that frightened "eeh, eeh, eeh," squeal, and knew there was a baby bunny nest there. Based on my past experience with other dogs and rabbits, I knew there was nothing I could-or should do. So I waited for her to come out, which she shortly did, with a baby bunny that she proceeded to eat. I swallowed my human discomfort and continued our walk. The next morning she went there again, bringing out another baby bunny that was dead. It seems Mama Rabbit didn't come back after she saw Abigail coming. So, perhaps I should know the answer to this, but why didn't Mom check back later, when the danger was gone, and see if she could save the twin? Better yet, why on earth, did she put her nest there, under a bush so near where so many dogs sniff, walk and urinate? We've all seen adorable bunny noses wiggling about, sniffing the air. Surely she could smell all the dogs that live so near that particular bush?

This past week has been a very exciting one for all of us who believe in equal rights for all Americans as the Supreme Court of the United States tackles two cases that have to do with marriage equality for same sex couples. These judgments may come down to a very ironic hinge; States Rights. Were States Rights not the precedent used to try and keep African Americans enslaved just over 150 years ago? I couldn't help but smile at the irony that gays may wind up able to marry in some states as a result of this very same idea. I may be an atheist, but ain't karma a bitch sometimes? 

Don't Look Back...

"Driving down the road today I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. A little voice inside my head said  "Don't look back, you can never look back." Don Henley; "Boys of Summer" 1984

As I drove to work the other day I saw a Toyota Prius with a sticker on the back that said, "Paul Jr. Designs." I wondered if that bumper sticker seemed as incongruous to anyone else. Paul Teutle, Jr, and the whole Orange County Chopper family seem about the most anti-Prius group I can imagine. 

I hate the term "invasive species." Life as we know it originated in Africa. And invaded from there. We are all invasive species. When one species goes extinct, another one fills its niche. Sometimes an organism moves into a place that has no niche for it, and it drives out its competitors and takes over there niches. That's the law of the jungle, Folks. Kudzu and zebra mussels are only as invasive as their competition allows them to be. It is all about adapting to an environment, or adapting an environment to one's needs. It's not always pretty, it's not often kind, but the cycles go on. 

I've been seeing some disturbing commercials about the EPA and how it is killing jobs with its overarching regulations. I wasn't sure until the other day who was putting this garbage out-I figured it was one of the republican candidates for president-especially Rick Perry. Then I saw the end of the commercial a few days ago, and the sponsor was "The Coalition for Clean Coal." Sure, wasn't it cool when the Cuyahoga River caught fire in 1969. Actually, that river has caught fire thirteen times, but the one that sort-of triggered Earth Day and the current environmental movement was in 1969. Do we really want to go back there? Don't pregnant women get enough warnings about eating fish because of mercury poisoning? Don't enough babies spend time in the emergency room and hundreds of thousands of dollars in health care costs because of air pollution? America, do we really want to elect a bunch of people who think all regulations on industry are bad? They keep telling us that removing regulations will cause job creators to come back to the U.S. to put people back to work. Why not create "quality control" jobs that hire people to see that a company isn't poisoning us? If an industry can't live up to environmental protections, how about the government giving tax breaks or "stimulus funds" to companies that update their factories to improve their environmental impact? So you create jobs and a cleaner environment all at once. Then the "job creators" wouldn't be demonized, and wouldn't have to set aside so much of their income for lobbying. It all seems so simple to me.

Rick Perry stays on my mind a lot, and  I cannot help but comment on the story of how he shot a coyote that menaced his family dog while on a run. Everything about this story rings false. I know that coyotes can be a problem for small dogs or cats left outside unattended. I know that with urban sprawl, coyotes have fewer places to hide and avoid contact with humans. But the governor of Texas, running with a golden retriever, which would outweigh most coyotes by about thirty pounds, and a cadre of security men running with him...well, there is no reason whatsoever that safety was the reason that coyote had to be shot. Coyotes are afraid of people, and unless they are pack hunting, which is a rare event,  and fairly new evolutionary step for them, a solitary coyote would not approach a group like that-certainly not in a menacing way. Perry was trying to show what a tough Texas hombre he is. And from that point forward, no matter if he stopped every war, created a job for every American, paid down the deficit, and stopped all pollution in the world, I could never, ever respect him again. Yes, my reaction here is extreme, and says more about me and my attachment to wild animals and my fervent belief in their right to exist and survive than it does Mr. Perry. But I have also studied canines (all canines) and this is just camp fire talk from someone who thinks he is on a cattle drive from the nineteenth-century. I was born and raised in Texas, and I am familiar with the Texas macho ethos. It is an unnecessary, ugly anachronism. We certainly don't need it in the White House. 

Mitt Romney. Business man, job creator, executive experience. What he actually did is increase the bottom line for shareholders by sending jobs over seas. I can't imagine anyone voting for such a Stepford Candidate. But then, if I were a republican I would be in utter despair right now. But then, I'm not a republican and I'm in despair now anyway over the direction of the country. 

I remember hearing over and over and over about George W. Bush saying "nookyooler." Then I heard many, many smart people, including respected news anchor Bob Schieffer say the word "nuc-lear" the same way. So I've tried not to let that one bother me anymore. But I just don't know if I could ever vote for a candidate who wants to eliminate a "def tax." Not that I  knew we had a special tax on people who can't hear. 

In the meantime, I have a solution to the rich-poor divide. It seems that every single small company is actually owned by some giant corporation. So all that is necessary is to have that one big company-I'm thinking it's probably General Electric or Goldman Sachs, take a minor cut in pay, and cut the shareholder dividend by a tiny percent. Give the people below them a raise in pay, and cover a bit of their benefits. Problem solved. The business will still be profitable, but the salaries of the ninety-nine percenters would be better, they would be happier and we could be the UNITED States of America again. It is sad to me that we are all so angry at each other all the time. 

My husband has been off work with a worker's comp injury since February. He was recently told that when he goes back to work he will have a three-percent raise. Then he got a letter saying that his insurance rates will go up more than ten percent. In the last forty years, the poverty rates in this country have gone up, not down. In the last ten plus years the salaries of the so-called ninety-nine percenters have gone down seven percent. Fuel keeps going up thirty cents, and down two cents at a time. When fuel goes up, everything that is delivered by fuel-driven machinery goes up. So, why are people angry and protesting? I can't imagine. 

As anyone who knows me knows, I am an atheist. A few weeks ago I had a conversation with one of my sisters, who shares my non-theism. She was about to get married to a wonderful man, but was uncomfortable saying to me that she felt "blessed." Is it okay to say one feels blessed if one doesn't believe there is a magic man in the sky dispensing said gifts? I think it is perfectly understandable to feel "blessed " when something unexpected and wonderful comes one's way. I'm still not sure how I would be sworn in if I ever had to go to court. 

Well-I guess maybe we have to look back sometimes. 

"Ahh, these times are so uncertain, there's a yearning undefined and people filled with rage. We all need a little tenderness; how can love survive in such a graceless age?"  Don Henley 1989, song, "Heart of the Matter," album, "End of the Innocence."

***Based upon a 1972 movie, "The Stepford Wives," in which the women of a community are made robotically perfect by husbands who wish to be waited on by beautiful, "perfect" women.